A New Beginning...and so many changes yet to come...

It all seems like a sudden blur...living in Oregon seems like a dream. I knew it would feel that way eventually. It has been a little over two months since I left the beautiful sunny state of Oregon. I miss a lot of things about Oregon. First of all, I miss my family that lives there-my grandparents and cousins. I miss being able to visit them anytime of day or night. Stopping by my grandparents home to get a hug from my favorite grandpa (by the way, nothing comes close to the hugs that he gives and smiles that are shown while he is giving them to me)or calling my cousin to set up a time to get together during the weekend. My cousin was such a help and blessing to me in more ways than I could have ever imagined. She taught me how to enjoy cooking and how to be a blessing to the people she came in contact with. I miss the schools that I taught in and all the children that would run up to me and give me hugs. I miss the teacher at the elementary school who would answer any question that I had about teaching. But, when it comes right down to one thing that I miss doing the most, it would be serving the Lord in the church I attended in Oregon. I get to continue serving the Lord in the church here in ND, but I miss serving the Lord and the people within the church I attended for a short time. It was a blessing to serve through music and through soul winning. I also greatly miss serving in the music ministry with a special family that God allowed me to know for a short time. They truly are "family" to me.
I am so thankful I have some great memories of being in Oregon. None of these memories would've happened had God not been in control of my life and every step I took. When you are in his will, He does do what this great verse in Psalms states: ""Light is sown for the righteous, and gladness for the upright in heart."
With time always comes change. As I look back, I am so thankful for the oppotunities to grow spiritually and physically. But, it doesn't have to stop now that I am home. In fact, coming home is only the beginning of great things that lie ahead! Here is a glimpse of what God has already done in my life since returning home:

First of all, as I stated above, I knew that coming home meant change. Alot of change. Some changes, I didn't feel ready to handle. But, God was right there the entire time. Upon arriving home my family was faced with graduation preparations, Christmas programs, Christmas celebrations, New Years celebrations, a dear family pet dying, and a dad having surgary. (All happened within one month!) It also meant that opportunities to serve God would change too. I loved to serve in the music ministry at the church. There were new doors that had opened to me that I saw God's hand in. Coming home meant that some of those opportunities would not be availble. At least, that is what I thought...God had other plans in mind.
It felt so different coming home and seeing everyone again. The inside of the church even looked different! It was a whirlwind of activity as graduation preparation was in immediately in order. At the graduation reception, it was then that I learned that a spot in the nursing home minstry was open. In fact, they were revamping the entire way they did the minstry. They wanted to have a lot more music to share with the elderly people. How exciting it was to hear of ways to share music in the SAME ways I had been able to share it with the church congregation in Oregon. My group is able to sing, play instrumental arrangements, arrange new instrumental pieces, and speak with people on a personal level. It was so exciting to see the hand of God open a new door of ministry immediately when I came back from Oregon. I know it wasn't a mistake. In fact, I truly believe God is going to do great things... this is only the beginning.
Secondly, my position as band teacher at Riverside Christian School was still available. I heard that the school had tried several times to fill the position, but no one was able to fill it. I hesitated about taking on the job as it was already into the school year and I was tired from student teaching. Yet, part of me wanted to teach students so bad! I wanted to serve God with music too! So, I took the position as band teacher.
I was welcomed back immediately and all of the 5th-8th grade students gave me a huge card welcoming me back to the school. It was definitely an exciting time. My head was spinning with ideas of what to do with the students. There wasn't alot of planning time to think and prepare for the program this spring. However, God has been leading and teaching me so much already about being His teacher. I was given two classes to teach- 5th grade beginning band and 6th-8th grade advanced band. I must admit, I was quite disappointed on the first day of each band class. My expectations were dashed. Each class only had about 6 students total! When I thought back to how many students had signed my big card, I wanted to cry! It wasn't what I anticipated... I was to have a big class, a big group of excited, eager students that desired to play music for God! But, "my thoughts are not your thoughts.." and "Little is Much when God is in it..." came to mind. Having a small group can be alot harder to put pieces together. Alot of arranging and rearranging of music has to be done. The instrumentation has to be adjusted in order for it to even sound like music! It was not what I anticipated as I really didn't want to have to spend lots of time rearranging and arranging music! I was tired from student teaching, remember? :)  However, I realized really quickly that these students are not my students, they are students God has placed in my hand. What am I going to teach them? How does God want me to teach them? The world doesn't have anything to offer them and the world can easily creep into Christian schools too.  God has impressed on my heart to take these students on a "journey with God." I want to show them ways God works in our lives through good, spirit-filled hymns of old. Often, the world thinks of hymns as dull and boring, but God has often spoke to my heart through them. I want God's spirit to be present at our concert this spring. So far, I have seen some resistance to this program. It has been seen it in various ways... But, if God impresses on my heart to obey him and go against popular appeal, then I need to obey. I have learned so much already going through these "ups and downs" in the classroom that I need to be fully surrendered in all areas of my life. When I get disappointed in attitudes that I see,  I need to look at these disappointments as God's appointments. He wants to show me his power and his ways. My life is not to glorify me, it is meant to glorify Him!
Being In His Will does not mean everything in life will be easy, it means learning how to deny yourself to invest in people's lives, for the honor and glory of our precious Lord and Saviour. He knows what is best for us now and in the future...

Teach me THY ways...

I can’t believe I only have three weeks until I leave for home! My time away from home has been filled with so much change and with so much change spiritually. I will be leaving Oregon with a known desire to serve God in whatever area He chooses, whether that be in North Dakota or any other place He desires for me to go. It isn’t that I haven’t wanted to serve God in whatever area He has planned for my life, but it always has been an issue of surrender to go and to allow him to use me in his time table, not my own.  With that desire is the known fact that I cannot serve Him to the best of my ability in a public school classroom. God is not welcome there and God is the Lord of my life. It has been through the experience of working in a public school that God has clearly shown to me what I do NOT want to do with the rest of my life. In the band world, I have seen extreme worlds that extend from being overly happy and loving their job to depressed people that drink and criticize their work companions and other job colleagues. Drinking seems like the way for many directors to escape their reality and to “have fun.” I can have fun without the social drinking.  I realize that this job also involves a lot of planning and extra work time outside of the classroom. I do not want to spend every breathing moment thinking about my job. I love music, but I want a life outside of the classroom too. It reminds me of a verse I ran across just recently in my devotions. Psalm 119:36 “Incline my hear unto THY testimonies, and not to covetousness. Turn away mine eyes from beholding vanity; and quicken through me in THY way.” If God is to be my main priority, how can I balance a job that requires all of me too? People may ask “Why did you even get a degree in an area you may never work?” My answer is this, “I wanted to learn how to serve God with the talents and gifts He has given to me musically. I wanted to be able to do my best to teach people what true love for God is through music.” I may never be a great teacher in the world’s eyes, but through this experience, I have learned how to work with children, teens, and even adults in a better way than I have before. I have learned how to connect in small ways with each age group. I will miss the students God allowed me to work with  in the elementary, middle, and yes, even the high school level.

In the midst of figuring out God’s will for my life, which is learning how to give him my day, my thoughts, my time, and ultimately, my heart, God has had to take me through a process. I know this process is not over as it is part of growing spiritually in my walk with the Lord.  Part of this process has been learning how to give what is dearest to me, over to him.  All of my dreams, ambitions, friends and family belong to Him. In his perfect time, he always fulfills what we need and sometimes, even what we set our heart on having or doing one day.  

Just recently, the Lord allowed another change to happen… the family that He gave to me, moved to California. I have never been so close to a family I knew for only a short time. It was really hard saying good-bye. There were tears involved, until the Lord reminded me that He knew all of this would be His plan. He was someone I could depend on at any time. He doesn’t change, even though lots of things in the world change. I quickly realized that I was trying to take control of the situation and I couldn’t control all that was happening. I had to actually sit back and let God work in my heart and be joyful in the midst of a trial. I am not sure I passed the test. I learned that in the midst of change, even a time of hard change, God wants us to rest in him and he can give us joy and not sorrow. I learned all of this after I had gone through sorrow. I wished that I hadn’t looked at what I was losing and instead, would have looked to God right away. It may have been a few days that I felt sorrow, but I let it build inside and let it stress me out. After giving it over to God, I was amazed at how He filled that emptiness with peace that He would lead and guide my life. He could help me make “new memories” with those around me. I can honestly say that I am making new memories. I am presently at an International Band Clinic in Seattle, WA. I am with a group of high school students. This has been a great time of bonding with them. I have even had an opportunity to talk about the Lord with one of them who claims to be a Christian. It was a blessing talking about the Lord and all He has done in my life to bring me here to this place of isolation from everyone I know. In Psalm 119: 68, 71-72 “Thou art good, and doest good; teach me thy statutes. It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might LEARN thy statutes. The law of thy mouth is better unto me than thousands of gold and silver.” It is so true! God’s ways are so much better than what the world has to offer. I am so thankful God knows my future and each day that I have to face. With his leadership and direction, He will always bring his children to the perfect place at the perfect time.

I can think back to how I wanted to “live on my own.” That was before God showed me how important family really is. I desire to be around people and now, I don’t feel like I have to prove that I can do things on my own. I have now lived and “survived” it, but only with God’s help and definitely His leadership and control over every single situation. It is amazing how much I really haven’t been “on my own.” I always have had God at my side. I can even say that God has given me a “home of my own” and oh, how I wish I had the family was back here to fill it. It is amazing how  God really does provided our needs and yes, even our “wants” sometimes. I am learning how to adjust to this new home environment and I am so glad that God has lead every step of the way. 

Change...

The "bell" that is used for "Kaptain Kristin" anytime she needs help.

My "brother" Steven being a goofball.

My "sisters" Sarah and Bekah.

When I think of change, sometimes I think of it as something that is for the better, something that will cause one to grow stronger and become more matured, but it can also be something that can be despised if it is for the worse.  Within the last few weeks, there has been a lot of change that I never knew was about to happen in my life. 

Shortly after the end of September and all of the birthday celebrations were over, my body felt drained. I can't sit still too long and the signs of a common cold virus loomed over me. I resisted it by taking lots of vitamin c tablets. I don't normally look at the clock every hour, but I was looking at the clock every hour so I would know when I needed to take vitamin c again. However, it didn't seem to help. By the end of Monday, only the first day of the week, I sadly climbed into bed realizing that I wasn't feeling very well, but thought I could get it under control pretty quick. The next morning, I jumped out of bed, got ready to walk out the door, sighed heavily, and called my teacher. I couldn't face the day feeling as horrid as I felt. However, the Lord used a special lady and her family in the church, to be a huge blessing to me. She brought over homemade chicken noodle soup and carrot juice with ginger. It hit the spot! But, that was only the beginning. This "common cold" went from my throat, to my head, to my nose, back to my throat, back to my nose and back to my throat once again. It was a vicious cycle. By Wednesday, I still wasn't feeling the greatest, but forced energy to come out of me. I loved being around the children at the school and it was my last week with them! :( It was also a day filled with some "excitement", if you want to call it that! A burglary happened right across the street from where I was living! I was approached by the police officer as soon as I got home from work. He asked if I knew anything about the burglary. I had no idea, but the thought of it happening across the street kinda freaked me out! I have a Heavenly Father who delights in watching over His children, surely, if this is the place He wants me, He will keep me safe. I've heard of stories like that, that happen to missionaries on the foreign field all the time. As soon as this happened, the musical family in the church sent me a message online stating that they had been thinking about asking me to stay with them for a little while. With the burglary, with the missions conference quickly approaching, and lots of music that needed to be prepared together, they thought it would be a great idea for me to move in with them. By the end of the week, I didn't feel like doing too much though. However, I prayed about the option of moving. I sought advice from my parents, my grandparents who live here in Klamath Falls, and some of my other close friends. The vote was unanimous, I was moving out! In fact, I was moving out THAT weekend before I starting the next teaching placement. Wow! This was too sudden. Number one,  I was missing the students at the elementary school so much! How was going to a K-12 school going to be better? After all, it was a Christian school, it had to be better. The thought of going to a the next placement wasn't on my mind too much with the move happening. Thankfully, with this family's help, the move went so smooth, I was out and into another room by 3pm that afternoon! That was a miracle! :) With the move, came an important prayer request. A prayer request that hasn't been answered just yet. However, I am so glad that I have a Heavenly Father who watches out for every need and whether I think it is a need or not, He provides what is for our best. 

As quickly as the weekend came, it left, and the start of a new week began. I found myself at the doorsteps of a new school. As I approached the band room, I was greeted by the band director himself. The first words out of his mouth were "We had no idea you were coming until I ran into your elementary teacher, Mrs. Hay at an event this weekend." I was dumb-founded at first. I didn't know what to think. I thought maybe there had been a mistake on his part. But, as soon as the other band/elementary music teacher came into the room, she told me the same thing. Well, I felt like I was off to a great start to the week! Not really what I expected at all. The bands at this school were amazing! There were only 26 students in the high school band, 15 in the middle school band, and 17 in the elementary band. The high school band knew how to tune and untune themselves. It was pretty amazing! However, I just didn't feel welcome, nor did I feel like I connected with either of these teachers. It was a weird feeling. I quickly sought advice from my elementary teacher, Mrs. Hay, on what I should do. Before I knew it, everything was planned out for me to switch schools. The best part was that I would be able to be at Mills again! I would not only get to work with the elementary band, but I would be get to work with my kids again! Upon arriving at Mills on Thursday, I was greeted in the parking lot with two 5th grade girls that ran up to me and hugged me. It was the best feeling in the world seeing these children again. They were so excited that I was coming back. I've never had that happen before. The staff also greeted me and the principal asked why I was back! Actually, he asked me that question with a smile written on his face. He was glad to see me too and I was glad to see everyone as well. 

To go through so much change all at once was stressful, but it was an experience I know the Lord had planned out. I have learned so much from each place that I've been to and lived through. I have no doubt that God wanted me to live at Miss Violet's home just so I could learn a few lessons in humility and how to deal with things that do not go the way I had planned they should go. I learned that "only by pride cometh contention" and I could control the way I displayed my attitude inside and out. But, I am also learning to be even more flexible. God has allowed me to be sick, just so He could teach me a few lessons in guess what? Humility and being sensitive to His voice. I have learned so much from this Godly family that I am living with. He has blessed me with three "brother and sisters." They have pampered me with cards, notes, and even a bell to use to call them to serve me. (they have no idea what they are asking for! :) ) They also have given me a title: Kaptain Kristin, captain of the Penmanship. It cracks me up every time I hear it! They tell me to use the "bell" anytime I am in need of service and security. :) But most of all, they have shown me what true service to Christ is. I hope that I can bless them just as much as they have blessed me. They will be moving in three weeks. It will be hard to see them leave, but we are praying that the Lord will open doors so that I won't be so lonely. I know I have many friends and family here. The Lord always knows what He is doing. His ways are always higher than our ways and his thoughts than our thoughts. 

A Wonderful Birthday Week

Wow! I can't believe how fast this past week went by! I actually can't believe that I have been gone from home for over 2 months! Time has flown by so fast! God has been so good to me. Words cannot describe how thankful I am to know that I have a God who knows and cares about each need that I have. I do not deserve it, but I am so thankful for the blessings that he provides every day.

This week was an amazing week! There were so many unexpected blessings from friends and family that wished me a Happy 24th Birthday. Being away from home and hearing from all of them made my day and my week so special. I guess I could say that I had no idea how many true friends and a loving family that I had. It proved to me just how much God has blessed my life. There are many people that do not have one true friend in their life and yet, I can say that I have lots of true friends in my life. I don't have to guess if what they say is true, I know that I can trust them. Friends will let you down, but I know that if I choose friends who have the same desires to serve the Lord, they will have the right heart attitude.

Wednesday was my birthday and it started with a "bang!" I woke up to a package from my family, just waiting for me to open it. The package came on Tuesday, but I decided it would be so much more special if I waited to open it on my birthday. I love how my family always looks for ways to celebrate, especially on birthdays. Birthdays are special times. When I opened the package, my heart was so touched. There were home-baked goodies, chocolates, and other neat little things inside. The cards from my parents and the singles ladies from ND church made me cry. I was so humbled immediately that my family would think of things that I could use here in OR. The words they wrote in the cards were so touching too. It was already a great day and it was only beginning!
Upon arriving to the school, I walked into the music room and immediately saw "Happy Birthday, Miss Penman!" written on the white board. On the table was a small gift. As soon as the music teacher saw me, she wished me a Happy Birthday and told me that she had one more thing she wanted to give to me. You see, we had a discussion about favorite pies and have been picking out music for the Christmas program this December. One song is entitled "Pumpkin Pie Polka." I loved the song because I love pumpkin pie, especially in the fall!  My teacher brought out a pumpkin pie and whipped cream just for me!! I couldn't believe it! She spoiled me too! Throughout the day, teachers would wish me a happy birthday and the staff shared the pie with me at lunch time. The band teacher at the school came in the staff room singing to me too! It was so memorable! I couldn't believe how many teachers wished me happy birthday and I had only been at the school for a month! While I was in the staff room eating, suddenly, the secretary walks in the room with a bouquet of flowers and a card all the while singing "Happy Birthday."  Who was this from? Who would send me flowers at school? Well, after opening the card, I saw that it was from my dear Pastor's wife who wanted to catch me while I was at school. She was so sweet and it was also another memorable experience.

Later that afternoon, a student walked into the room. She was holding a small box in her hands. She walked up to me and told me "I've never given a teacher a gift before. So, I am going to give you this gift, and when I leave, you can open it. " Then, she quickly left the room. I looked at the gift thinking "This isn't happening, is it? I really have a student that remembered my birthday?" I opened the gift and this is what I found: Seashells and a pair of earrings." It touched me heart. You see, these children do not have much. Some do not have a decent home life or a proper home to live in. So, I can imagine that this child gave something that was dear to her. She wanted to give me something that would cost her something. How amazing is that? How privileged I felt.

On Friday, I opened a card sent from "my girls", the Daughters of Virtue at the church in Grand Forks, ND. It was a blessing seeing pictures of them and knowing that they are all doing well and somehow, they remembered me on my birthday. How sweet and thoughtful they were to me. In the evening, I was invited to a dear family that attends the church I attend here in Klamath Falls. They are the musical family that I spend a lot of time with each week. They wanted to celebrate my birthday too. They spoiled me rotten!! Look at the beautiful cheesecakes they made! They also presented me with other birthday gifts and  Starbucks coffee ice cream! Yum!! They were such a blessing to me. Words cannot express how much their hospitality and love meant to me. I am reminded how much God knows just what we need at just the right times.

 On Saturday evening, I was invited to spend the evening with my family, celebrating my birthday. They were a blessing to me too! My grandparents, cousins, and some of my cousin's extended family came over to help celebrate. We had lasagna, fresh rolls, and a delicious chocolate cake with homemade vanilla bean ice cream! All was homemade and delicious! My cousin Anna made me feel so special. She just has a way about her that makes anyone feel extra special on their special days. :)

Birthday Goodies :)
Thank YOU Lord for the blessing of friends and family! 

A Winter Wonderland Weekend ~ Ladies Delight

This past weekend was so spiritually refreshing. I am so thankful that the Lord opened the doors and allowed for me to attend the Ladies Delight in Medford, OR. I wasn't planning on going to the event because of financial reasons and because of school reasons. It also didn't help that I wasn't sure who I could room with and if I could find my way around a new city. So, I just planned on not going. But, the Lord was so good and impressed on my Pastor's wife to call me. When she called, she asked if I was planning on going and I explained my dilemma. She understood and said that that was exactly why she was calling. She asked if I wanted to ride down and room with her and her two girls. I offered to pay for part of the gas and part of the room, but she said not to worry about it. I was shocked! I offered several times, but she insisted that I not worry about it. So, I was going to the retreat! And, I was going with my Pastor's wife! I was so excited to ride and stay with them so I could get to know them a little bit better. 

The retreat was hosted by Harvest Baptist Church in Medford, OR. The timing for this event couldn't have been better. I have been struggling with a few spiritual battles and the topics that the speaker spoke about was exactly what I needed to hear. First of all, I know that I struggle to maintain open communication with my Lord when my life starts to get busy. I knew that I was struggling with admitting where I was wrong in my spiritual life and I am so thankful that God knows and He does everything possible to get us to see our mistakes and to admit them before Him. What a merciful God we have! The theme verse for this Ladies Delight was: "Hearken unto this, stand still, and consider the wondrous works of God." Job 37:14.  It truly was a time that I could stand still and consider what God wanted to teach me. The first thing the guest speaker stated was this: "Your trials and tests are to be counted as Joy."  Counted as Joy?? How does a sinner count trials as a joy? They are certainly not joyous when you are in the midst of them. Ahhhh, but that is how God wants us to view them. I was reminded of the verse "In everything, give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." I Thess. 5:19  God's grace does enable us to do what He wants from us. It is up to us to see the wonders that God has for us. It is not His plan to take us out of the trial, but to take us THROUGH the trial. Wow!  

Another thing the speaker spoke about was about looking at God's word as a mirror. Physically, we need to look into the mirror to look descent for the day. Spiritually, if we do not look into the mirror of God's Word, we won't be changed into God's image. We NEED to be changed every day. 

The last topic that the speaker spoke about was about the importance of prayer. Prayer is the key that opens and shuts every window of our life. She referred to Matthew 6:9--  Hallowed means to think upon, to be set apart, to make holy, consecrate, sanctify; to look upon with reverence, love respect.  To actually worship the Lord means to bow down low; to acknowledge the worth of another.  She mentioned that God already knows what we need before we ask him. So, God asks his people to come and worship him.  Prayer shouldn't be a time to seek our needs, but a time when we focus on how great and holy God is. True worship should take place with humility; in spirit and in truth. 

I left realizing that my life should not be about MY agenda, but God's agenda for my life. My time, talents, dreams are to be given to HIS agenda. When I surrender them to Him, those "needs" will no longer be "needs" because God knows how to answer them in His perfect time. True service to God will result from true worship to God. 

It is so neat when you see God working in your life. But what is even more interesting is when God cements a truth in your heart by using other preachers to preach about some of the same topics. At church yesterday, the missionary preacher spoke about allowing God's word to rule our life and to look into that "spiritual mirror" every day. When I read my Bible now, it is amazing some of the truths God reveals to me. I view God's Word differently and I am humbled when he begins to show me truths He wants me to see EVERY DAY. What a great God we serve! He is so merciful and loving! I have so much to learn, but He is so patient and forgiving. I can truthfully say that God has helped me through the struggles I had in my heart. Now, I have experienced first hand how God keeps His word. He has shown that to me before, but I am so blessed to see Him work in my life again. He is a faithful God worthy of worship and praise! I can truly say "Ah, Lord God! behold, thou has made the heaven and the earth by thy great power and stretched out arm, and there is NOTHING too hard for thee:" Jeremiah 32:17.

My Amazing Sister ;)

This blog is written for my amazing sister who sacrificed a couple hours of her life to help make my blog even better than I could've done. Without her help, even though we are miles apart, this blog would not be as creatively done in a style that I love! :) She even posted other blogs that I follow as often as I can. Her talent with computers is quite fascinating. For you, Alyssa, I owe this "novel." :) 

On a more serious note, I do have to say that I miss my sister. This will be the first time in several years that we will not be able to celebrate each other's birthday together. We always like to go out for a special dessert. Each of us take turns paying for it and it is worth every minute we get to spend together. I regret not always sharing my time with her. We are so opposite, yet we each have important qualities God knew we both would need to learn about each other. Often, we take for granted those that are close to us, until we do not have them anymore. Or, in my case, we presently live far away from each other. My sister has a fun, spunky side to her that some people call "blonde." But, I see that side of her as being fun and outgoing. She loves to be in the center of fun and games and often will work hard to get opportunities to interact with friends on a more serious game/sport level. She is great at computer work and loves to write on her blog. But, most of all, she is my sister. She is the person God gave to me to share my growing up years with. She is a special person to me. 

I love you, Lissie! <3

Teaching at Mills

Whew!! What a week it has been! It was a week full of unique teaching moments. Teaching is something that I am finding  I really enjoy. I must admit, I never felt like I could fully relate to young children. I wanted to so much.  But, since doing student teaching, I am finding how I can relate to these young lives in a variety of ways. An adult can be caring and yet consistent in how they discipline certain behaviors. These discipline methods are called classroom management skills 101. They can present themselves in a number of ways. I was blessed to have so many classroom teachers at Mills Elementary school, welcome me into their classrooms to observe their unique skills. Each teacher is so different from each other and the classroom level makes a huge difference as well. 


This week was the week that I was to begin teaching at least 2 classes per day. It didn't happen that way, though. I ended up teaching at least 4 classes each day and at times, I would team teach with my teacher. It was also a week when I would have my first teaching observation done by my student teaching supervisor.  My teacher and I get along so well. It is so fun team teaching. She has often admitted that she wishes it could always be this way. I think so too. :)  I think it is less stressful for her and being she is so easy going, it is less stressful for me knowing she is right there to help me out. We often review what we/I could've done to make the lesson even better.  She offers so many helpful suggestions. My student teaching supervisor also provides feedback on how I teach. I was so blessed to hear nothing but positive things from him when he came to observe this week. That was a huge answer to prayer! I was so nervous, but so excited to show him what I have been learning from observing my teacher and other classroom teachers. The lesson flowed so smoothly. I know that without a doubt it was because of the Lord. God is the one who gives blessings and helps His children by giving the ability and the strength to do what He wants them to do. He deserves the honor and the glory. However, I must admit, the next best part of this experience is that I am finally getting to know the students! Today was the first day that I had children walking up to me at the beginning and end of classes giving me hugs. Often, when I walk down the hallways, I see children smile and wave. It melts my heart. A couple days ago I had a student hand me some gold fish crackers and tell me I needed them because teacher's work hard and they need a snack to get them through the day. How sweet was that? I couldn't resist his generosity. :)  


There is a side to this school that is unlike schools I've been to. This school has many students with disabilities and is known for its poverty. It is not uncommon to hear a student tell you that his/her sibling or parent is in jail. Some of these things are everyday common practices for these kids. Many do not live in "normal" homes. Some students arrive early to school just to talk to their favorite teachers, because their home life is so terrible. Others display their anger towards teachers because they are angry inside. I believe it is because of lack of consistency from their parents. Children want consistency and stability. If they do not get it, it is shown in other "behavior disorders." Unfortunately, our world wants to class these cases as disorders instead of making parents accountable for their actions. It is a sad state.  


Regardless of how these children come to me, I am learning a variety of ways to approach these children. Consistency in discipline has actually allowed me to get to know many of these children. They have a respect and a love that is given back to me immediately. I know that when I leave Mills Elementary school, I am going to have a hard time saying good-bye. A part of my heart reaches out to them in a way I've never experienced before. Although there are long days and I am glad when Friday finally arrives, I am so thankful I was placed at a school that has been an "eye opener" and a place that I can hopefully make an impact on for the Lord.